If you don’t feel real ready, or are not in a position to parent right now, adoption can be a loving and responsible option.
You can make an adoption plan that ensures that your baby will have a loving, stable family.
Adoption Agency
Choose an adoption service provider. An adoption agency will provide you with a counselor, at no charge to you, who will guide you through the process. You do not have to make a decision about adoption before talking to the agency. A good agency will offer adoption, without pressure, in a way that honors you as a parent and values the life of your child. Your counselor should provide support for you whether you choose to parent or choose adoption.
Adoption Counselor
An adoption counselor can help you develop a plan that helps you understand your choices and considers your preferences in choosing an adoptive family, how much openness you would like and your plans for your delivery and time with your baby. No final decisions are made until after the baby is born, when you are ready to transfer your rights and responsibilities as a parent of your child, to the adoptive parents. Your counselor can guide you through all of the steps.
Adoption was the most difficult thing, and the best thing, I’ve ever done. My son changed my life. If I could do that, put someone else’s needs above my own, I feel like I can do anything.
—RACHEL, BIRTH MOTHER
Type of Adoption
Choose the type of adoption you want. Openness in adoption is about how much communication and identifying information is shared between you and your child and his or her adoptive family. Open adoption, where you know each other and have an on-going relationship, is the most common, but you can also choose to exchange information through the agency. You can also choose a closed adoption if you have concerns about privacy or feel it would be too difficult to continue to have contact. The type of adoption you choose can change in the future.
Family for Your Baby
Choose a family for your baby. This is one of the most fulfilling parts of adoption as you think about what you want for your child and possibly choose to meet and form a bond with this family.
Where to Start
If you are interested in exploring adoption, we recommend getting in touch with an adoption agency. Any of the following agencies would be a good place to start.
Concerns
Financial
An adoption decision should not burden you financially. Adoption financial assistance laws vary by state but you can usually receive assistance for counseling, medical, legal needs, and some living expenses related to your pregnancy. Your adoption provider will help you with this.
The Father of the Baby
It is wonderful if the father of the baby is involved in making the adoption plan and the adoption process. If he is not, your adoption counselor will talk with you about the father’s rights, depending if he is a legal (married to the mother) or putative (potential, never married to the mother) father, and make a plan, usually consulting with an attorney. Father’s rights are dependent on state laws.
Safety of Your Baby
Families awaiting adoption matches are extensively evaluated and have to meet various state and agency standards. You are in control throughout the process and you help select and sometimes even meet the family that you would like to raise your baby.
After the Adoption
Adoption creates love and family but always involves grief and loss. Even for birth parents who are confident about their adoption decisions, there can be a grieving process. It is important that you have support, goals for yourself and take good care of yourself. There are many support groups available for birth parents, in person and online.
